Orwell (Self-Demonstrating)

The standard English translation of this page can be found here.

For best results, read this in the voice of Rob Paulsen as Pinky from Pinky and the Brain and Animaniacs.

Greetings, comrades! I hope you unmind my fullwise use of Newspeak in this selfdemart; I unknow why I pick to speak it, either. I apologize if you uncan bellyfeel what I am speaking; I might write an art writed fullwise in oldspeak at the latetime. I am sureful that Colkerev's luvevoribbonpoke will be reading this and speak that I am unbelow oldspeak repeatwise... and that she will comp me to dirtsheets...

Unregardful, hello! My primename is Orwell, and I am a waterungoodlobsterpoke owned by Kimbond. I am the eighth poke that Kimbond catched on her travels, and the third that she catched in galreej. It is plusgoodful to be introd! Even if you are unable to bellyfeel me, I am plussureful that this will be plusfunwise!

Presentwise... where to begin?

Prolebellyfeelings (Personality)

I will fullwise admit that I can be... plusstrangeful to proles that unbellyfeel me. I can bellyfeel where they are entering, though-- it is uneasy to bellyfeel Newspeak if you undid read the addwords at the end of 1984. Plusgoodwise, Kimbond's firekickrabbitpoke Elton is able to fully bellyfeel my speakpatts, so we have a plusgood relatboat. But even if you did read the addwords at the end of 1984, you might be unable to bellyfeel me. I use words like "-poke" and "minimart" and "minicent" and other words that unwere in 1984, and Joel once telled me that I unbellyfeel what the word "bellyfeel" means...? I unknow what he is speaking by that... I think I know what the word bellyfeel means. I will admit that I unlike the 1984 movie... plusgood, I do like the 1984 movie. I just unlike the ending. I-it is tripleplusungood! I look away every time I view it...!

...Wait, what?

...W-what do you mean, I unknow what Newspeak does?

"Corporations"? "Dystopia"...? W-what are all these words...? I can switch to Oldspeak presentwise, but that undoes mean I'm fluent... Newspeak is just a funwise language from 1984 that anyone can learn from reading the addwords at the end! Right?

...right...?

...Plusgood, anyways!

I also have a plusgood relatboat with Kimbond's waterkingcrabpoke Peechee-- which makes sense! We're both crustpokes who speak difflangs of oldspeak from dystobooks! We have tried to learn each other's languages, and I know what words like "pony" and "horrorshow" mean. "Pony" means "bellyfeel" and "horrorshow" means "plusgood". (And "zammechat" means "doubleplusgood"!) But... we are differed by our thoughts about batts. Peechee loves batts... maybe he loves them plusquanted... and I unlove batts! I doubleplusunlove them! I bellyfeel they are tortureful! One time, prewise my evo, we went to the portrealm of Ikoria, and t-there was a plusbig eleclynxpoke, and I was plusscareful... I shaked and went into a fetuspose... Oh, and also a plustime Kimbond went into a raidbatt with Colkerev and there was a dynad coldwatergrassyetipoke there... I unwanted to batt it! I might be as scareful of batting as Kim's wateremolizpoke Freddie is!

But... I becomed minusscareful of batting after Peechee aided me. Kimbond's patprole was hurted by a groundungoodgavialpoke and we had to go all the way to the minicent to view him... it was one of the plusungoodful days of my life... but Peechee aided me in learning to batt. I undid want to batt... but I did want to learn how, and so I did. And... I still unlike it. At least the part where I hurt other pokes. I unlike hurting other pokes. Or fainting other pokes. I unhave parttaked in another batt since then, and I surewise unhave parttaked in a gymbatt... I just leave that to Peechee.

Presentwise, outbatt I am a pluscheerful poke, and even though I speak fullwise in Newspeak, that undoes mean I can unbellyfeel oldspeak. In fact, after my evolution into a Crawdaunt I can switch straight to using Standard English-- and then backturn to speaking Newspeak, but I solewise speak Newspeak to pokes and proles who bellyfeel me, like Kimbond, Ian, Evel, and their pokes. For all other pokes and proles, I switch back to oldspeak. It is funwise-- and feels good to have more pokes bellyfeel me, even though I'm plusgood with just speaking Newspeak fullwise. I have a lot of other friends besides Kimbond and her pokes-- Ian, Evel, Colkerev, and their pokes are some of them. I unthink that Colkerev's luvevoribbonpoke likes me, though... one time she comped me to dirtsheets and speaked I was "above English"... I unknow how I can be unbelow a language... unless I am reading a book upside down. Unregardful, I unthink she likes me... in fact I think she doubleplusunlikes me... I hope this is not the case.

Postwise my evo, my prolebellyfeelings have unchanged pluswise... though I am plusscareful of the fact that I am a waterungoodlobsterpoke. I am scareful that because I am an ungood type poke, I am tripleplusungood... or at least I did. Plusgoodwise, I had a lot of plusgood friends who made me think otherwise. There is also a new ungood type poke on the team presentwise... and he undoes seem plusungood... so maybe this typing is plusgood postall!

Oh, and also Kimbond likes writing persfiles when she catches a new poke. Here's mine:

"NEW POKEMON CAUGHT: ORWELL THE CORPHISH. HE IS... SLIGHTLY ODD, BUT IN A GOOD WAY. ORWELL IS RATHER SMART AND INQUISITIVE, AND VERY CURIOUS ABOUT THE LANGUAGE OF NEWSPEAK— TO THE POINT WHERE HE SPEAKS IN IT PRACTICALLY ALL THE TIME. IT'S PRETTY FUN TO DECIPHER— THOUGH I HAVE A FEELING IT WILL FRUSTRATE REVER TO NO END. ELTON LOVES DECIPHERING HIS NEWSPEAK. LIKE ELTON, HE HAS A THICK BRITISH ACCENT— THOUGH NOT QUITE COCKNEY."

Details

• Meeted: Kimbond meeted me in the miniwild-- the same place she meeted Joel, Peechee, Gallag, and Gilmour.
• Ability: Shell Armor, which stops critting.
• Favemove: Protect. I unwant to hurt other pokes... but that unmeans I unwill def them!
• Nature: Quirky. It fits-- I like ownlifing! Plus I speak fullwise in Newspeak, so...
• Characqual: Impetous and silly. I unknow what the word "impetous" means, but I am plussillyful!
• Ball: Like all of Kimbond's pokes, I was catched in a pokeball.
• Evos in: I evod into a waterungoodlobsterpoke while batting the groundungoodgavialpoke that hurted Kimbond's patprole. You can view it here.
• Hassmon typespeak: 1n c4s3 you unh4v3 h34r3d, 411 of K1mbond's pok3s d3c1d3d to com3 up w1th h4ssmon sp33chp4tts for th3ms31v3s. Th1s 1s m1n3! 4ll "A"'s 4r3 "4"'s, 411 "E"'s 4r3 "3"'s, 4nd 411 "I"'s 4nd "L"'s 4r3 "1"'s. 1t's 4noth3r "413" r3p th1ng- though 1 h4v3 unh34rd of 4ny pro13s known 4s b11ndprophs. Th3 sp33chp4tt com3s from th3 pr1m311n3 of 1984. 41so, 411 N3wsp34k words 4r3 1n 1t411cs. M4ny pro13s 4nd pok3s h4v3 sp34k3d th4t my typ3sp34k 1s 11k3w1s3 to 4 huss13tro11 w1th th3 pr1m3n4m3 L4tul4, but 1 h4v3 unh34rd of h3r.

Moves

• Double Hit, Protect
• Bubble Beam
• Night Knife-- er, Slash is the proleterm.

Trivia

Here are some more things you likely undid know about me:

• I was the first poke on Kimbond's team to not be named after a songprole of any kind. Instead I was postnamed for George Orwell, the writeprole of 1984, which is the book where Newspeak enters. There are two other pokes that are unnamed after songproles-- Peechee and Boseman.
• My chatname is waterungoodlobsterpoke. It was waterlobsterpoke, and then I evod. Oh, and my hasslename is newspeakNautical (NN). I wonder if Colkerev gets remmed of that Trent Reznor prole and his songproles of nineinch nails every time he views it...
  • (Colkerev's luvevoribbonpoke telled me that Nine Inch Nails is not made up of nineinch nails. Sorry.)
• My favorite songprole is David Bowie. He was supposed to make a musicshow based on 1984-- he even writed a few songs for it! And I love them! But... the proj never got made. It falled through... that was plusungood... I wonder why it never got made...
• My charsong is "Life on Mars...?" by David Bowie. I like David Bowie, and I love that song, but I think that that "Changes" song fits me pluswise. Also my musicshowstreet charsong is "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (is that a Newspeak word?) from Mary Poppins. That plusfits me-- Newspeak has a lot of long words!
  • (Okay, so I viewed it on the intnet, and it is not a Newspeak word. But it surewise views like one!)
• Apparentwise I share my nature and characqual with that of a shiny watermudskippoke named Axollo... I unthink I have ever meeted him. Based on what his page speaks, though, he hears funwise!

And that's it! I hope you had a plusfun time viewing my selfdemart!

Farewell, comrades! I'm going to go and view what Peechee and Elton are doing...